A few days ago I found out that a girl I knew from Kansas since we were in grade school together had died a couple of years ago. It was a suicide.

It brought up a lot of feelings for me.

In elementary school she and I were kind of at the opposite ends of the spectrum. She was the pretty, popular girl, snobby and pseudo-confident and not very nice to me. I was the lowly nerd who got the good grades and was made fun of by everyone (or so I felt). We tended to be at odds.

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Physical health has been an issue for me for most of my life. Not that I have been aware of it. Little aches and pains were part of the growing up. Eyeglasses and contact lenses were things that everyone got. A little sugar every now and then, or a little ice cream every day, never hurt anyone. And of course it was always better to get some of those arch supports with new shoes, you know, to maintain good foot health.

Then, a few years ago I took a class on Natural Vision from a guy named Tom Quackenbush, who at that time taught in San Francisco. The ideas were quite simple, and it all boiled down to one thing: Relaxation. Relaxation in its various guises meant moving, paying attention to one thing at a time, keeping the body and the breathing full and relaxed.

So why is it that, nearly five years later, I’ve made little headway into that department? I have clearer flashes of vision every now and then, but it has never stayed.

Clearly there was more to it than that.

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