I have this obsessive-compulsive habit of checking door handles, light switches, faucet handles, and other “on/off” or “open/close” switches to make sure that I’m not leaking energy somehow. It helps me to feel secure.

I’m getting some fascinating lessons about real security, though. Several months ago, the light switch in a brand-new floor lamp got worn out within only a few months after we bought it because of my compulsive checking. And today I had to replace both washers in our bathroom faucet because they were cracked and leaking like crazy — again, probably from my compulsively “checking” and pushing them repeatedly to make sure that they were shut off.

So there it is: The more I push and shove to solidify my sense of security, the more brittle and pressured that security becomes, and the more liable it is to break. Security born of pressure is ultimately related to a sense that the world must be made safe through violence, that it can’t be trusted; and this is a dead end. Security ultimately can’t be bought with mindless force. Real security involves seeing what is present and responding in a balanced way.

Who knew that broken lamps and leaky faucets could teach such lessons?