I’ve been having a strange experience of myself lately. It feels undefined, subtle, complex, deep beyond words. It’s a shift or expansion of my usual mode of consciousness.

I think it’s the result of the past few years of asking: “What is my place in the world? What does it mean to experience a life filled with connection, that is beyond words, that is deeply meaningful?” It has arisen from time spent meditating, questioning, opening and relaxing, honing perception, to investigate the meaning of experience, connection, and reality.

This experience is certainly not the answer. But it’s a start. I catch glimpses into a spacious, vast emptiness that seems filled with something primal, something undefined, that cannot be encompassed with mere language. It feels lke the raw stuff of direct experience, and to confine it to words is to cut out 99% of its meaning. It feels like a Great Mystery.

Through these glimpses of the Great Mystery I can begin to see more clearly how everything is a wondrous mystery, every little thing holds its own secrets and surprises, everything is woven together into a single piece, the fabric of a universe that is spontaneous and alive in each moment.

I can begin to see that life, ordinary life, is indeed extraordinary, if we are simply open enough to it.

What does it mean that someone tried to steal my moped?

Is the world dangerous? Or do I create the danger that I experience?

It’s interesting to explore how I may have contributed to this incident. A big clue was that when it happened, though I felt afraid and angry, one of my major emotions was relief.

The moped I bought was by a company called E-max. It was a cutting-edge, experimental, electric vehicle — it ran on batteries, which appealed to my vague “green” ideals.

The problem from the very beginning was that my objectives were completely unclear. Though the main thing was that it would be more convenient to have another vehicle (we are a one-car household), I confess that the idea of riding a cutting-edge technology zero-emission no-gas vehicle seduced me into buying without thinking it through rationally. Not until after I impulsively put down two grand for it did I begin to question it; and by then it was too late.

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The general theme of this blog is “Discovering the magic and the meaning in the mundane.” It reflects my desire, and constant effort, to make sense and discover the deeper significance of the seemingly trivial and insignificant things in my life, things like browsing the Internet, mowing the lawn, and driving in traffic, as well as larger issues such as engaging violence and exploring health.

Sometimes, something happens which challenges me, makes me question whether or not my perspective on the world is not just making mountains of molehills, being overly philosophical, or “intellectually masturbating” (as one vehement critic of Teaching Drum has charged).

Yesterday afternoon, someone tried to steal my moped.

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One thing about the Internet, sometime it’s just pretty damn funny, great for a random distraction. I’m sitting in class right now, and while zoning out (curse this wireless access), I found out this website, Zod 2008, recalling the infamous evil Kryptonian General Zod from the movie Superman II.

Really hilarious.

When I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn’t know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.

– General Zod
Your Future President and Eternal Ruler

I spend too much time on the computer.

On the other hand, it’s one of the few ways that I feel connected to the world.

Isn’t that sad? I mean, here I am, in a school for natural medicine, with a background of living for a year in the woods and attending a year of massage school; and one of the primary ways that I relate to the world is through a computer.

To call it an addiction would be too easy. To say that many other people in industrial civilization do the same is a cop-out.

The simple fact is that my ability to relate to the world through genuine, authentic, non-mediated means — i.e., not through the written word or projected image — has atrophied.

It has made me question exactly what it means to experience “connection.”

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