Qigong and tai chi instructor Gary Clyman, who I mentioned in my previous post, followed his visitor stats back to my blog and took umbrage at what I had written about him. Here’s our exchange:

From: Gary J. Clyman
Subject: Is this YOU?

Is this from you? GJC

http://www.edgeofgrace.net/2010/06/19/qigong-quacks-frauds-and-dangerous-egos/

From: David
Subject: Re: Is this YOU?

Yes. I was very disappointed that you chose to CC my e-mail to Elijah. At this point I don’t need or want anything more from him or from you. You can feel free to provide a rebuttal or set me straight on those secondhand stories I excerpted about you; at least you have not shown yourself to be engaged in illegal activity like Elijah.

From: Gary J. Clyman
Subject: Re: Is this YOU?

I’m the “real thing” and you’re an ass hole. All the other Wilson Victims, I made happy with my programs because I take my responsibility as Master very seriously. I know Wilson sent you a jumbled version of my Chi Kung Program since someone sent it to me. It was going to be yours for FREE, but…

I don’t do chat rooms because all the boys want to do is “challenge” me. I’ve got many stories because I’ve been volunteering at other teachers demos since the mid 1970s.

Comparing me to Elijah was a bad thing for you to do. It has cost you dearly… Stick with Wong Kiew Kit. Yeah, I’ve got a story about him too, but others have already heard this one. All you had to do was call me…

Good luck! You’re cut off…. Gary J. Clyman

On reflection, I could start to see how my depiction of him was perhaps unfair and sensationalistic. I could agree that some of that was “asshole”-ish.

I wonder why I felt motivated to include criticism of him in my post. It did seem somewhat extraneous to my story.

I think I’m reacting to a growing sense of feeling stifled at censorship, self-imposed or otherwise. There is much I don’t say and would like to. I feel constrained for any number of reasons. One notable place where I was distinctly open about stuff was my critique of Teaching Drum, but that was more the exception than the rule.

Maybe what it comes down to is a sense of being tired of people who don’t take criticism well, who react to it in a volatile way, and on a superficial level. Instead, I feel that criticism, done with integrity, has the potential to open dialogue and deepen relationship faster than courteous talk. In intense conflict, authenticity rises to the foreground.

I have very rarely been able to have such productive conflict. I treasure immensely those relationships in which I can. In so many other places, I see people react out of fear or anger or some other ego response. This saddens me.

And ultimately, if I can’t criticize with the intention of opening dialogue and deepening relationship, then I would like to at least be able to criticize with the intention of having it be an expression of who I am and what I’ve experienced. There is plenty of ugliness in the world, and while I would prefer not to be one of the mindless Internet masses that freely yells insults at anything just because I can, I would still like to have the freedom to express my sense that aggression, oppression, or injustice has occurred. I suppose that doing so makes me a lightning rod, though.

I think there is more than a seed of truth in Clyman’s criticism of me; I reported an unflattering story of him that was unnecessary to my narrative. Nonetheless, it was an attempt to express something I felt in this character who had become part of the whole experience. He took offense and cut me off, as is his right. But it remains my right to disclose my sense of people I encounter. This seems a difficult boundary to navigate. When does personal expression veer into libelous attack?

In the end, for me this is but a side drama in the many other more important things happening in my life. But it can maybe serve as a minor illustration of the risks and rewards of speaking out on sensitive topics.

Update 6/26/2010: Though I was ready to let him have the last word, I eventually decided that, whatever else I might feel about Clyman, the fact that I had said negative things about him without real cause (more from petty spite) was not an honorable thing to have done, so I wrote to him, apologizing and asking for nothing more.

I was expecting him to receive my apology as an “Oh, now that I know you were offering something for free, I’m going to kiss your ass” kind of note, which it honestly wasn’t. To my surprise, he quickly forgave me. We spoke on the phone, and the first thing he did was to apologize to me about Elijah’s behavior. When I then tried to apologize to him again, he brushed it aside and said that I had already apologized, water under the bridge. Then he sent me a copy of his chi kung DVD, for free, which I just received.

So I reverse course on my previous statements about Clyman. I still don’t know too much about him, but that lack of knowledge should be reason enough not to open fire on him. And he showed class and generosity in his handling of my apology.

So, to balance out previous excerpts, here are a couple of more positive opinions about the man.

Master Gary Clyman has been nothing but kind and very helpful to me in every conversation I’ve ever had with him. He’s really ramped up energetically but I think I would say that’s he’s just extremely passionate about his system, like on fire passionate. I would never ever describe him as being an asshole.

Before saying anyone is fake you should either meet them in person first or at the very least try the system with diligence and determination. Fake is another word I would never use to describe him.

Gary Clyman’s reputation is well-earned, I understand; abrasive, egotistical, unrefined. Maybe my age is permitting me to put things in perspective (I’m almost 50), but I don’t seem to be bothered by that as much as unabashed, mindless violence. Clyman doesn’t go there. I’ve met people all over the world who, because of different patterns of environmental conditioning and genetic predisposition, come off loud and boisterous, but when I’ve been around them long enough, I can appreciate qualities of exuberance that were not visible before, i.e., having to share barracks with people from New York!

I am also painfully aware of how much of an ass I have been over the years, and yet I still manage to have friends and family who love me. It seems to me that beneath every good man is a scoundrel who finally got it and evolved.

I only have the advantage of Clyman’s books and DVD’s, and they have simplified so much technique with regard to breathing and Microcosmic Orbit material that I was able to have a dramatic MO experience with relatively little time. I was practicing Master Chu’s Nei Kung regularly for two years before I started with Clyman, and I’m in awfully good shape as a personal trainer.

I have met people who are extraordinarily proficient at what they do and they often have little time for people who make light of subject matter. “Short Jewish kid from Chicago” with an attitude; somehow that just doesn’t astonish me that much, and I can detect his sense of humor beneath all the attitude. My guess is, the sum total of what he contributes to the world in terms of easily understood, efficacious, demystified chi harnessing is vastly greater than the negativity that he ultimately brings with his ego.

So I don’t hold it against him that some think he’s a dick. Because I’ve been one too, big time. I am grateful that his info enabled me to sense the upward flow of the MO and the challenges of completing the circuit. If I win Mega Millions Lottery tomorrow, I’m booking a flight for Chicago on Wednesday.